“Shy Girl”
Lack of self esteem can be devastating.
Why?
It does not let us live our life to our fullest potential.
While that is reason aplenty for us to work on our self esteem, another aspect that makes self esteem building all the more important is – if we undervalue ourselves and think low of ourselves, we will encourage others to think the same about us.
Developing self esteem is also a sure-fire way for gaining confidence and motivation as well.
WHAT CAUSES LOW SELF ESTEEM?
Generally speaking, causes of low self esteem are usually traced back to our childhood and growing up years, and the influence of people around us during those years.
Especially important is the influence of our parents, teachers and even friends who were close to us.
Children who had to deal with constant criticism, ridicule or abuse during those precious formative years, are more likely to see themselves as “less than good” in their adult life. And shaking off those childhood hangovers is no easy task.
Additionally, a low self esteem could also be linked to our perception of failures over the years. A perceived failure can deliver a blow to our self image, and may make us feel we are not worth the success we want to achieve.
And finally, perceptions of our physical attributes – which are not entirely in our hands – can also cause self esteem issues.
Like if we believe we are too short, or overweight, or have a disability or illness that we believe affects our normal functioning in the society, it could likely lead to the feeling of lack of self worth.
HOW DOES LOW SELF ESTEEM MANIFEST ITSELF?
Lots of ways:
- Do you constantly question or second-guess your words and actions, and seek others approval/reassurance for them?
- Do you frequently put yourself down in conversations, with yourself or with others?
- Do you find that you are frequently apologizing in conversations, or for your actions?
- Do you ever feel you are not quite good enough to do something, or be somebody? Are you afraid to try new things because – “you know you will mess it up”.
- Do you find yourself constantly being talked into doing things you don’t want to do?
- Do you mumble or speak incoherently? Do you find it difficult to assert yourself in most social situations?
- Does it seem that your feeling of self worth is tied to always being perfect? In other words, are you a perfectionist, and for the reason that you perceive anything less to be a failure, which you are afraid to face?
- Do you find that you blame others or circumstances for every setback of yours? Do you find yourself to be unnecessarily critical of others, or do you sense that there is that air of negativity in you?
- How is your temper? This is a tricky one. Is it possible that you tend to tie others’ words or actions to your self esteem in such a way that, anything they say or do could potentially upset you, or cause you to react angrily at them?
If you answered yes to a few of the above questions, chances are your self esteem could use a boost.
Don’t drive through your life with a hand brake on! You need to get that brake off. And the sooner you learn to do that, the better it will be for you.
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